TOUR BLOG WEEK SEVEN: Homeward Bound (The Incredible Journey)

Here is is, friends. The tour has finally hit it's last crazy week. I'm definitely going to miss living in a horrendous smelling van with 4 boys and eating chip sandwiches.

After we left New Hampshire, we went straight to Pawtucket, Rhode Island. This show was really interesting because we were playing with the band Scarce. They were getting pretty big in the 90's, when their singer/guitarist had a brain hemorrhage and went into a coma. They broke up, and then re-formed about 3 years ago. Very nice people. Pawtucket was cold, and I didn't see any beer referencing Family Guy. Lame.

The next show we played was at Broadway in Amityville, NY. Pimps and Ho's party. I was seriously dreading this show, because Zeke and I had no idea what to expect. Are we going to have to play funk covers for 3 hours, while frat boys walk around with fake canes and fuzzy purple hats, hoping to hit on whatever whorish college girls drank too much that evening? It was the exact opposite, and one of my favorite shows of the entire tour. We showed up, and the first thing we hear is Bayside on their stereo. Followed by a playlist that is strikingly similar to what we have been rocking out to in the van for the past 7 weeks.

It turns out that Broadway is owned by Victory Records band The Sleeping, and is totally awesome. The party was a bunch of New York punks who just really liked having themed costume nights at this bar. Everyone there was rad, and it was a welcome change to not have Nirvana or Drowning Pool playing as we load in our gear. They even bought us a genuine NY pizza. Soooo delicious. We got really drunk, and Matt had a dance off on the dance floor. Zeke was the DJ. He put on "Good Vibrations" by Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch. I think there's video footage of it somewhere.

Earlier in the day, we drove by the infamous "Amityville Horror" house on Ocean Avenue. I got out to take a picture of the house, and 4 kids rode up on bikes, yelling "that's not the right house!". When I asked where the correct house was, they all pointed in different directions. Then they yelled that it's illegal to take pictures of it. I took pictures of them and they rode off screaming "stranger danger!!". Apparently that's what kids yell when they're about to get kidnapped? Or kids in Amityville watch too much Simpsons? I dunno. I got my pics and we drove off.

The drive over the next 2 days was pretty brutal. We had to get from Amityville, NY to Chicago, Il. It was a little over 800 miles, but we're totally used to that now. No biggie. We got to Quencher's in Chicago, and were told that we couldn't play that night due to Matt not having a valid ID (since his wallet was stolen in the first week of tour). We were all pretty bummed, but they gave us free food, $10 in drinks each, and Zeke did a solo set. He played with a band called Plastic Head Trip. I'd highly suggest looking up their videos on YouTube. Seriously, go do it now. I'll wait.

Finished? Okay good. From Chicago we drove to St. Louis, MO. The weather was really bad, so we showed up right before load in time at Cicero's. The sound guy was not a happy person, but the bartender Patrick was awesome. He gave us a really good pizza and some beer. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: on the road, free food is the best thing ever. I found a knife in the parking lot that looked like a murder weapon. I kept it until I looked closer and realized that the red stuff on it wasnt rust. I left it in a McDonald's parking lot.

No time to enjoy St. Louis, we have to be in Salt Lake City in a day and a half! considering it's a 22 hour drive in a normal car, this would prove to be one of the hardest drives of the whole tour. I was driving most of the trip, but this one I couldn't do alone. Zeke and Shawn drove through the first night, and by morning I was ready to drive. Once we got into nebraska, an amazing thing happened: the ground started turning white. We were in snow, in the same van that one month prior was too hot to sleep in with the doors closed. We stopped at a gas station, and were told that the roads were closed. So naturally, we hung out and sold copies of Devour. It was funny until they started playing our CD in the gas station.

The roads cleared up, and we were on our way. It was great driving through it, until about 8pm, when the "freeway closed" signs popped up. we were forced to exit into Kimball, NE. When I pulled up to a police officer to ask what was going on, he replied, "Freeway is closed because of the snow. Been closed since tuesday. Don't know when it's opening.". We were stuck in Kimball, in 11 degree weather, and we had to be in SLC the next evening. Great.

Being snowed in isn't nearly as fun as movies make it sound. Shawn and I still tried to make the most of the situation, by having snowball fights and using guitar cases as sleds. Btw, that actually doesn't work. It just makes your case really wet. The next morning we parked by the freeway and patiently awaited it's grand re-opening. we were the third car on the road.

We showed up at Salt Lake City JUST in time to go onstage. However, the drive completely wore us out. I should mention that this was Halloween, so the place was full of hardcore kids dressed up. Turns out, the whole show was a hardcore show. We didn't know that, and played anyway. The crowd hated us, but the promoter "Rick Shoes" was great. If you're gonna book a show in SLC, look him up. Halloween was a bust.

On to Portland! We were playing at the Hawthorne Theater, which is actually an awesome venue. Their walls were covered in show posters of some great bands. If I lived in Portland, that's the place I'd be going. Unfortunately for us, the show was a locals night pay-to-play gig… with 7 BANDS on the bill. When we explained that we didn't have money for them since our booking agents set the show up, they put us dead last. 11:25pm.

I was wondering around the venue, when I stopped in my tracks after noticing someone in the crowd. Our good friend Rachel Clare flew out from CA to see our show!! I was so surprised by it. She recorded some video footage of the set too. It's on YouTube (and below). Rachel and I wandered around Portland, only to discover that everything in that town closes at 9pm.

After the show, we drove to Seattle and got to stay with one of Matt's friends in the city. She was great to us and made us lots of food. That night we played at the Comet Tavern and had a lot of fun. There was a good crowd there and we killed it. Seattle is a really cool city, and I hope to spend more time there in the future.

Back to Portland! At this point, we're all exhausted and just counting down the days until we get to sleep in beds again. This Portland show was an in-store appearance at Music Millennium. They have our record for sale. Go buy it. We played in their upstairs balcony area while people browsed albums. After our set, Zeke did a solo set of some of the material he's been working on since we hit the road. They also gave us free t-shirts.

After we left the store, I drove straight to San Francisco. We were staying with Matt Martin (Missing Words Records), so we immediately ransacked his kitchen while he was at work. I ate 2 TV dinners and a bunch of his soups. Don't tell him. That night was the last night of the tour. After 44 shows in 7 weeks, we were stoked to be doing the final gig. It was at a great venue, The Rockit Room. We played our set, and got pretty into it. I threw my guitar after the last song...and smashed the headstock right off. I'm still pretty upset over this. This was my favorite guitar, and the one I used at every big show ET has ever played. It's also the only guitar you hear on Head Over Heels. RIP Samick.

All in all, this tour was a crazy, ridiculously hard, ridiculously fun trip. We learned a lot and maybe even grew up a bit. We are all adjusting to sleeping in beds and showering when we want to. I wouldn't trade this trip for anything.

• TOTAL MILEAGE DRIVEN: 14,895
  
• TOTAL DOLLARS SPENT ON GAS: too much
  
• GUITARS COMPLETELY DESTROYED: 2
  
• OIL CHANGES: 2
  
• CHEESEBURGERS EATEN BY MATT: 200 (seriously.)
  
• HOTEL ROOMS: 3
  
• LONGEST DRIVE: 22 hours
  
• HOURS SPENT CLEANING THE VAN AFTER RETURNING HOME: 4, and I haven't even touched the fridge yet.
  
• PARKING/TOLL TICKETS: 6, in different states. I really need to pay those.
  
• SYLVESTER STALLONE MOVIES PURCHASED: 7
  
• TIMES WE QUESTIONED WHY WE WERE DOING IT: several.
  
• TOTAL STATES TRAVELED THROUGH: 38
  
• TOTAL SHOWS: 44
  

Thanks to everyone for all their help in making this tour a success. Wether we slept on your floor, or you bought us a drink, or you put together a show: we owe you. See you next year.

-Jordan

End Transmission.

TOUR BLOG WEEK SIX: So long East Coast

...we didn't make it to the show.

I know, I know. That's really lame. But by the time we got to Cleveland, it was about 7 pm. There was no way we'd get to Detroit in time for the show. Deciding to not waste any more time (or gas), we drove back to New York and camped out in Buffalo. The next day, we went to Albany, where Zeke had friends. They fed us, let us shower, and we even got to sleep next to a fireplace. The weather outside was 35 degrees, so it was definitely appreciated.

The next day we drove up to Potsdam, where we played La Casbah, the most happening middle eastern restaurant in upstate New York. Too bad it was a Tuesday and nobody was there. Even the bartender didn't bother hanging out. So we used it as a practice.

We had to be in Manhattan the next morning, so we packed our shit and drove through the night. CMJ was the show we've been waiting for this entire tour. We got to Fontana's, and after spending 2 hours finding a parking spot, we were ready. Our spot was at 3 in the afternoon. The show was sponsored by Organic Entertainment and Tsurumi Records. Jeff from Tsurumi was a really nice guy. Look up his releases.

There wasn't much of a crowd at Fontana's, but we got some free organic ale. So it balanced out. After eating dumplings with Dave and Margo from Organic, we drove to Bethpage, which is basically Long Island.

The next day was Mr. Beery's. The place is the size of my bedroom, and turned out to be awesome. We did our thing, then hung out with the manager and talked beer. I tried a creme brûlée beer, which was the most delicious dessert beer in the world. And yes...there really is a Mr. Beery, and he's rad. We met him.

That day, my mom called and gave us amazing news. She was getting us a hotel room in Boston! We were stoked. After Bethpage, we drove to Massachusetts. That morning at about 9 am, Zeke wakes up. "Dude, where is Matt?!" I turn around and look at his sleeping bag in the chair. "He's right there, he's sleeping". Zeke goes "no dude, he's not here!!". Matt was missing.

Turns out, I stopped at a gas station about an hour prior. Matt got out without announcing it to use the restroom while I was pumping the gas. I saw his sleeping bag on the chair and thought he was asleep with everyone else. He had no phone and no money, and i wasn't even sure where we were when we stopped.

We had to be at the hotel by 10 am because my mom said someone she used to work with manages the place and was hooking it up. In reality, my whole fucking family flew out from california to visit us. When I walk into the hotel lobby, they all pop up from behind a table and scream "Suprise!!!........what's wrong, aren't you happy to see us??"

"...I left my drummer at a gas station."

My mom rented a car, and we drove to get Matt. He was only there for about 4 hours. Whatever. Don't sneak out of the van, asshole.

After that, all the guys went swimming at the hotel and relaxed in beds. I, however, went to Salem with my awesome family who loves me very much. Salem is the town where all the witch trials were held, and it was really fucking cool getting to see how everything went down. The cemetery there had graves from the 1600's. There's a ton of rad history.

That night we played at All Asia in Boston and it sucked. I mean it has a cool atmosphere, but they wouldn't even give us a glass of water and my family had to play full price to get in. Even in a crowded room we couldn't get a guest list.

The next morning we all woke us super early, and my mom took us to the Sam Adams brewery. Yeah, I know. We really like beer. The tour actually wasn't as good as the Miller tour, but the tasting portion was a thousand times better. Octoberfest > High Life.

That night we played at Ground Zero in Allenstown, New Hampshire. My family went to this show too. The venue was a very right wing Christian place. "virginity rocks!" shirts and Tooth & Nail recordings abound. The guy running it looked just like Jesus. And his name was Christian. I can't even make that kind if thing up.

After playing to the 2 other bands, my mom took us all to Applebees and bought us the biggest meal ever. I'm getting mad just writing this and thinking about how good it was. They left the next morning, and we slept in the rain.

All in all, it was fantastic seeing my family and doing all that fun stuff. Plus, Massachusetts rules. It's beautiful there.

See you guys in a week! <3

-Jordan